Frustration v. Patience
- toricorbo
- Apr 25, 2021
- 6 min read
Are you frustrated?
With everything that is going on in the world right now, I think it’s very easy to be or become frustrated.
Or, perhaps, you’re not frustrated with worldly circumstances, per se. Maybe you are dealing with another kind of frustration - personally, spiritually, emotionally, financially, relationally, or professionally.
For me, when I am frustrated, I’ll sometimes feel like I don’t have control. I'll feel like I’m grasping for what I want but it keeps slipping through my fingers.
Maybe that’s how you feel right now.
Maybe you feel weak and worried, annoyed and anxious.
Maybe you feel like your joy has been sapped, or that your frustration is all you can focus on.
Maybe you feel like you’re hitting a wall and nothing will ever change.
Maybe this frustration is causing you to not only feel negatively, but now you’ve begun to manipulate your current situation because you are sick n' tired of waiting! You’d do anything to have “control” again.
Is that you? If it is, take a deep breath. Imagine I’m sitting across with you at your favorite coffee shop.
I hear you. Frustration is real, and I’m sorry this is something you’re going through.
But, what if I told you there is hope for releasing your frustration?
That hope, my friend, is patience.
Frustration v. Patience
Frustration is the feeling of being upset or annoyed, especially because of inability to change or achieve something.
Patience (also translated “long suffering” in the Bible) is the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset.
It sounds like patience is an antidote to frustration!
Patience is accepting the frustration, and then choosing to trust Him.
Frustration withholds our joy and peace. It causes anxiety, makes us feel distracted from what really matters, and/or it can lead us to believe we need to control the frustrating situation at hand.
I don't think God wants us to live victim to our frustration or in a constant state of frustration. Remember, in this life we will have trials...which means we're always going to have something to be frustrated about! And in the wise words of Miley Cyrus, "There's always gonna be another mountain. I'm always gonna wanna make it move."
But patience does the opposite. Patience doesn’t deny the frustration. But it does choose to have a good attitude along the way (“without getting angry or upset”).
It isn not wrong to be upset or angry with what you’re currently facing and feeling. I empathize with you, I think King David in his psalms would have to agree. It’s what we do with our frustration or anger. Anger is not a sin, it is an emotion. God gave us our emotions. Jesus, who is fully God and fully human, has emotions and never sinned. But, God cautions us in His Word not to sin in our anger (Ephesians 4:26).
Have you ever been in bumper-to-bumper traffic? Prime example of frustration. I’ve been there in my car. Sitting there. Waiting. Rush hour in the afternoon on the highway. Blood begins to boil a little. And then I see the lane next to me open up! I think, “That’s it! I’m taking matters into my own hands!” I swiftly maneuver my car into the lane and think, “Surely, I’ll get home faster now!” And then I change lanes another eight times trying to find the fastest lane...only to realize, I have not made much progress. In fact, I’ve probably only been causing more traffic and increasing my chance of getting in an accident, potentially harming myself and others.
Now, I’m not a terrible driver. But I hope that paints a vivid picture of what we look like when we act out of our frustration instead of being patient. Acting out of frustration is dangerous to us and others.
The Importance of Patience
As I was learning about patience, I found myself saying: “Okay, great. Patience. I get that I need it and that it’s a fruit of the Holy Spirit. But why do I need it?
Glad you asked. I’ll give you some more examples.
What happens if you take your cookies out of the oven too early? They are under-baked, and if you eat them, they can make you feel sick.
What happens when a developing photo is brought out of the dark room too soon? The image is lost.
Remember the bumper-to-bumper traffic analogy? What if my being impatient while driving caused a car accident?
AND, what if instead of being frustrated, I chose to turn on some music, listen to an audio book or great podcast, or took some time to pray in the car? Wouldn't the choice to be patient and make the most of the car ride have been better than simmering in my frustration? Absolutely.
Sometimes, from our human perspective, it can be difficult to understand why we need patience, especially when we’re enduring the trial, the frustration, the “long-suffering.”
But God, Who is all-knowing, loves His children. He sees the full picture. His ways and thoughts are not our own. And sometimes that means we have to wait for our good.
I’ll say that again: Waiting is for our good.
When we become frustrated, we have to submit that over to God.
I can just hear Him asking: “Do you trust Me?”
I think the answer deep down inside of us is that we think we know better than He does. We want to be in control. We want to take matters into our own hands and say, “I got this, God.”
And that is pride.
I believe the key to overcoming frustration and experiencing breakthrough is patience.
I believe it is laying down our pride, submitting every care and frustration humbly over to the LORD, and choosing patience in faith amidst our frustration. It’s saying, “I trust You, God. I trust Your will. I will wait on You.”
We have to surrender control, and choose to wait on the Lord.
“Wait on the Lord; Be of good courage, And He shall strengthen your heart; Wait, I say, on the Lord!”
Psalm 27:14
You may be saying right now, “But, I’m so frustrated and it’s just so hard to find joy in this time.”
I understand, friend. Joy is not a natural or innate response to a frustration or when we are suffering-for-a-long-time. Remember, patience doesn’t deny the frustration, but chooses a good attitude along the way.
That’s why we have the Holy Spirit! Patience, peace, joy, love - all of these are fruits of the Holy Spirit, parts of God’s perfect character. When we partner in faith and spend time with Him, He does the work in us, producing His fruit in us! Philippians 2:13 says, “For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases Him.” Patience pleases Him because it’s a reflection of His character.
Consider the Farmer
One of my favorite songs is called “Seasons” by Hillsong. I love these lyrics:
I can see the promise
I can see the future
You're the God of seasons
And I'm just in the winter
If all I know of harvest
Is that it's worth my patience
Then if You're not done working
God I'm not done waiting
Consider the farmer. Having patience is in the job description, and he is very aware of what season it is. Harvest is worth the patience.
Yes, a feeling of frustration can come when we feel like things aren't in our control. But being frustrated doesn’t make the harvest grow faster, just as being anxious and worried doesn’t make a problem go away.
But, oh, the joy, peace, and freedom that comes when we remember Who is in control!
Yes, consider the farmer. Partner with God. Wait on the LORD and let Him strengthen your heart. Fall more deeply in love with God as you wait. Prepare the ground and seek His joy in the waiting. And when the breakthrough rains come, they will not flood, but rather yield a bountiful, beautiful harvest.
God I thank You for Your goodness and faithfulness. I rejoice in Your love, Your perfect timing, and Your divine protection. I pray for every person reading this right now going through a difficult time or frustration. God, I pray You comfort them and strengthen their hearts as they patiently wait on You. Help us to lay down our pride. You know better than we do and You are perfect in all of Your ways. Teach us to trust You in every circumstance. Fill us with Your Spirit, joy, and peace today and every day.
In Jesus’ Name,
Amen!
“Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying.”
Romans 12:12
The Patience Playlist
A small collection of worship songs curated to encourage your soul in the waiting.