It was something I never announced, but I made a big decision last December. I decided at the end of my 2018 fall semester that I was going to be taking a semester off of school and moving back home. I did my research, crunched the numbers, and created a PowerPoint presentation for my parents to inform them of my decision and plan: I would take off my spring semester of school, move back home, work as hard as I could, and try to take my final, basic community college courses until the fall semester. It was a good plan and parent-approved.
Why did I take a semester off? I had a future-altering decision on the table: to take out loans or to not take out loans? That was the question. I had, by the absolute grace of God, zero loan debt. And, I have heard horror stories of how graduates are still paying off student loans years, even decades, later. That may seem a little dramatic, but it’s true - I was quickly reminded that the borrower is slave to the lender (Proverbs 22:7). I did not want to be ensnared.
[Side note: if you are reading this and you have taken out student loans, please know my heart and that this is by no means a form of judgement or condemnation or anything of that nature. This blog is a place of love, grace, and authenticity.]
So, I packed up my things, turned in my key, and moved back into my light blue room at home. It felt a little like déjà vu. I’ve been here before. After my very first semester of college at Belmont University in Nashville, I moved back home that December. And there I was, three years later, sitting on my bed thinking to myself, “Hmm. This feels familiar.” Only this time, moving back home with taking a semester off meant that I’d be pausing my degree process and pushing back my graduation.
As I write and reread these words, reader, you may think it was a sad decision. When the truth was, it was truly freeing. I had so much peace, from the first moment the idea crossed my mind until the moment I drove off campus. Don’t get me wrong, there were difficult moments that followed this year, but there was always this peace. Life is challenging! The Bible is very clear that we are not promised an easy life. Yet, we are promised by God Himself that He will never leave nor forsake us, that He will fight for us, and that we can have His perfect peace. May I just tell you really quickly that the peace I felt is something you can experience, too? It is a peace that is not of this world. Rather, it is Peace divine, holy, and true. It is the peace of the Holy Spirit. That being said, I was confident about the decision because I knew so strongly that this was a good choice, and that no matter what, the Lord would be with me and guide wherever I went. In the confidence of the Lord’s perfect love, there’s no room for fear.
And yet, the enemy still attempted to stealthily sneak into my heart (and he delivers quite a monologue): Look at your friends. They’re graduating, off to bigger and better things. But, you’re stuck at home. You can’t study. You can’t travel. You’re just a work-machine. And, how about your school, your learning, your friends, your sorority, your worship opportunities, your work? Gone, because you gave them away stupidly. And for what? To not be “ensnared” in debt? Look at everything you’re missing! You’re trapped, stuck at home. You can’t even use your hard-earned money! How are you going to be able to fulfill your calling if you can’t finish your degree? Why did you ever think this was a good idea?...
You get the point. Every one of these thoughts were comparison traps that crossed my mind.
But, God is so good. And He will always be good. I can’t tell you or emphasize this enough. In these moments of attacks, lies, and fears, Jesus sweetly reminded me of His love, faithfulness, and peace. He reminded me that I was certainly not stuck! The enemy, who is the father of lies, was trying to get me to believe that I was stuck in order to run away from my responsibilities, to shy from my calling, and to stay fearful and trapped in comparison and unhappiness.
I want you to bloom where you are planted, daughter.
That word from the Lord was just what I needed.
In my time off, I stayed busy! In January, I applied for a couple jobs and was eventually hired as a coffee barista at a little Frisco coffee shop! It was perfect for me. I met so many wonderful people and made new friends. In February, I was able to be a part of my church’s background vocalist coaching, which was another amazing opportunity. I also decided to go on a mission trip to Mexico with the young adults of my church. In March and April, I was able to attend all but one of my little sister’s theatre competition shows. They went all the way to State and got second place (way to go, Nicole!)! And in May, I had the sweet privilege of seeing friends and my little sister cross the stage and receive their diplomas. Summer flew by in a blink, and suddenly, it was August and I was on my way to Mexico. And finally, God faithfully allowed me to attend DBU online while finishing up my basic science courses at my community college this past fall semester. It was a rigorous 18 credit-hour semester, involving three different sciences (by the way, science isn’t really my forte), but by the grace of God, I was able to finish strong and enjoy this beautiful holiday, Christmas season.
We serve a faithful God!
When the enemy tried to steal my joy this year, he told me I would be missing out. That I’d miss learning and getting my education, miss getting to be a part of worship for my sorority and school, miss my friends, miss my sisterhood, miss traveling, miss a lot of things! BUT BOY, HE WAS WRONG!
When I couldn’t continue finishing my degree, Jesus has been my Teacher and Educator (and I’ve fallen even more in love with studying His Word).
When I couldn’t lead worship for my sorority or help in chapel anymore, the Lord opened up the door for me to be in background vocal and keys coaching for Gateway, and now I’m involved in my youth’s group’s worship - which had been a dream of mine for three years!! - as well as dive into another leadership role for the youth group.
When all of my friends were at school, graduating, and going off to new places, the Holy Spirit stepped in as my Friend. And, He has provided me with many more new friends through church and my new job!
When I couldn’t pay for my school anymore, God provided for me financially with an incredible job being a coffee barista (which had been a dream-job of mine for a while! And you guys know how much I love coffee!).
When I couldn’t be with my sorority sisters anymore, the Lord brought me even closer to my incredible parents, my dear sisters and brother, and sweet baby niece at home - and I’m forever-and-ever blessed by them. And, I had an amazing and rare opportunity to support my little sister Nicole in theatre, see her in her final semester of high school, and get to be in community college together!
When I thought I wouldn’t be able to travel, the Lord opened the doors for me to go on the mission trip to Mexico (which was so much better than I could have ever asked or imagined). I even got to travel with my family to the breathtaking Colorado.
And to top it off, I launched a website and I dove into some of my creative passions of writing music, writing blogs, making videos, and more. Ultimately, the best part of this year was growing closer to the Lord and my family, diving deeper into His unconditional love, and learning how to be a worshipper in all that I do.
What. A. Year.
God opened doors that I definitely couldn’t have opened myself. God redeemed things that I didn’t think could be redeemed. And God changed and freed my heart in ways I never expected, but ultimately it was through His Truth, never-ending love, and perfect grace.
I will never stop learning and growing, but if there was only one thing I could say that I learned this year it would be this:
God is faithful. He is the Way Maker and the Living Redeemer. His timing is perfect. Trust Him, and let Him lead you on a beautiful adventure, far more extraordinary than you could ask or imagine.
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