"You become what you behold."
My mom got me a beautiful devotional for Christmas called Beholding and Becoming by Ruth Cho Simmons. This quote by Henry David Thoreau is how it begins. These words triggered something inside me.
We are all in a state of becoming. And what you behold is what you become.
What does it mean to behold something? Simply, it means, "to look or to gaze upon."
What we are looking at, gazing upon, and putting our focus on directly affects who we are becoming.
So what are you becoming? A quick way to answer this question is to take a personal inventory of what you're looking at and what you're spending your time doing.
For me, I realized that I was beholding social media. A lot. I was not only putting too much of my time toward it, but I was becoming a person built on the affirmation of others and not God alone. What I was beholding, I was becoming. God knew this, and I am grateful for His kind love. It was a healthy course correction, a necessary ending.
God whispered to me at the end of last year during a New Year's Eve worship and prayer service, "4 months." 4 months away from social media. I was a little shocked by how long that was, but I said yes to Him.
After that 'yes,' I realized immediately that I would miss posting about my 25th birthday (which sounds a little silly when I think about it, but it's what I truthfully felt in the moment).
So, I said back to God, "LORD, did I hear you right? Did you mean one month? 4 months means I will miss my birthday!"
God asked me, "Where are you going to find your affirmation from?"
That question alone humbled me. I knew God was right. He always is. A godly sorrow washed over me. And on my knees, I told God how sorry I was for seeking affirmation outside of Him.
And so, January 4th commenced the four months of silence.
I was off a little over four months. Now that I am back on social media, there is a bit more hesitancy to what I say and post. I know there are things that I want to document and write and tell you all with the hope of proclaiming God's glory, love, and kingdom and encouraging you!
But, with all my heart, I do not want to go back to the way I thought before.
I do not want to put old wine into a new wineskin. This is the new. This is the place where I care about encouraging and loving you all, but I intentionally want to take a stand against finding my affirmation and affection here.
In this time away from social media, I have seen how when I behold Jesus, I become more like Him. When I behold His love, I don't just see it, I become it! I get to be an image of love! I get to demonstrate that I love Jesus by my actions of love! Love is the greatest commandment! "You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind, and all your strength. And the second is like it, Love your neighbor as you love yourself."
Love God. Love people.
On the other hand, when I behold what others think about me (fear of man/people pleasing), it becomes me. It consumes me. I worry. I'm more agitated. I'm more focused on if it was perfect or 'will they like it? Will they like me?' This is not the way God intended His children to live. This is not the 'life more abundantly' Jesus taught us in John 10. It sounds more like the thief stealing, killing, and destroying - which is certainly not love.
I don't want you to feel like after reading this I'm telling everyone to take a 4 month social media fast! That's not what I'm saying. And I'm also not saying that I am perfect at this. I want to encourage you and challenge you. Take a look at what you're looking at. What are you beholding? I can assure you, you become what you behold.
As I pause to take a moment at what my eyes, mind, and heart are fixed on, I even feel now there are things I need to give back over to the LORD and not dwell on. This really is a daily surrender, a refining process that takes a lifetime. But isn't it good, believers, that we have the Spirit of the Living God living inside of us to help us?!
I love what Hebrews 12:1-2 says, "And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us. We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith."
Keeping our eyes on Jesus. Focusing our gaze on Jesus. Beholding Jesus.
If life is about becoming more like Jesus, then I want to behold Jesus. I want to keep Him in my gaze and strip off any and everything that is slowing me down, holding me back, and entangling me. I want to run this race well!
So I ask you, friend: what are you beholding? Who are you beholding?
And now, I encourage you to behold Jesus. Why? He is Son of God and the Prince of Peace. The picture of compassion & humility. The Savior of the world.
Keep your eyes on Jesus and you will become like Him - knowing your identity as a child of God. Peaceful. Loving. Kind. Humble.
Keep salvation in your sight, and you'll never lose the wonder of His mercy.
Behold Jesus, and you can run the race with endurance God has set before you, friend.
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